Inquire into success

All of us have received and given congratulations to many people. Someone does a good job and we congratulate him. So far so good since the intention is good and we want to motivate the person.

What happens when we congratulate someone?  Normally he thanks us and that is the end of the conversation. The person feels good and some people may even feel a certain shyness and say phrases like “it really wasn´t anything….”

This article proposes another approach, an even better one.

When something goes “wrong” we insist on asking why, we want to analyze the causes of the mistake. It seems the most productive way to go. We oblige the person to justify himself. We become experts it what does not function. It is not at all clear that inquiring into the mistake leads to success. At best, it may lead us to making less mistakes.

What happens when success occurs? How can we generate a conversation that generates more success?

Our aim is to inquire into success by asking: What have done to have so much success?  This question generates a productive conversation. We are so unaccustomed to inquiring into success that the person does not know how to answer quickly. He needs to think and that is good thing.

He will realise the factors that have worked, “the best of what is”, in order to do it more and better. As a result, the person will learn about what DOES work and the essential aspects which have made it work. He will feel better than when you congratulate him because we are thinking of him as a source of learning. By asking him we are saying to him: I want to learn from you! This is recognition in capital letters.

Logically the person who is asking can continue to inquire relevant aspects as the conversation advances. The person who is asking the questions is learning a lot, he is learning how the persons he works with achieve success, the strengths they use and how they put into play the strengths and resources of the organization.

The person being interviewed values his talent and learns how to use it.

It is easier for a person to evolve positively by inquiring into success than by penalising his mistakes.

A very usual example and one that we all have experienced is when the school reports of our children arrive.

Normally there is a brief period of congratulations about what has been achieved to be followed immediately by questions regarding the results which have not been good. The child justifies himself and complains about the teacher, the subject, the exam, or any other circumstances; the creativeness shown tends to be high. However, the self-esteem falls at the same time as does the energy and the ambition.

Another way of confronting the situation is to inquire what he did to achieve such good results in those subjects that had good results. The child will begin to discover what led him to success and emotionally he will feel satisfied, increasing his self-esteem as he learns first-hand what his strengths are and how to use them.

At the end of the inquiry one can ask him: How can you use all this talent to improve this subject (the one with the bad result). He will surely discover how to do it.

To look at situations from abundance makes everything change.